My Blog

I have to say that having a wonderful family like mine gets me through anything. I came home this weekend because stress at work has really been getting to me (I’ll explain in a minute) and coming home to my parents and brother just makes all the difficulties seem petty and stupid. It puts things into perspective and I realize that I’m not over-reacting or anything, rather that the people I work with need to chill out. I mean that in the best way because they are good people, but as we all do, they get caught up in little situations and make them way more important than they should be.

What I’m talking about of course is the current search for my position at BSU. The first candidate came in last week and the reviews I got from my students were not positive, but I can’t say anything. I can only nod and say "We’ll see what happens" but inside I"m thinking "Ok, colleagues…why aren’t you giving me an interview if my kids can clearly see they don’t know what they are doing??" Then I start to take it personally and doubting my own self-worth and then its a downward spiral. This is of course aggravated when colleagues in other areas come up to me and say "I’m so sorry you aren’t getting an interview, what is up with that?? They should be begging you to stay, you are such a fine musician and obviously a good teacher from what I hear in your students and hear them say about you. What a slap in the face that they didn’t give you an interview…" And so on. It is said with the best of intentions but makes me feel worse.

So last weekend my mother was like "Why don’t you come home for the weekend" and just after that the interview schedule for this week’s candidate was posted. The master class conflicted with a student’s lesson who had to play in the master class, the recital conflicted with another student, and the students meet with her during studio. So I don’t even need to be there! Then I don’t teach on Tuesdays so I left Friday and am returning tomorrow night. And Wednesday we’ll know something I’m sure…either way.

In the meantime though (thank the lord) I got a call from SUNY Potsdam that I am in their top 10 for that position. I would LOVE absolutely LOVE to teach there. It looks like a beautiful area and its close to Montreal and Ottawa! Now I just have to hope for a phone interview, if I get that far, I think I can get a live interview. I hope!!! But its 65 degrees in Tulsa right now, sunny and gorgeous!!! I’m going to go enjoy the day with my brother. My mother and I are driving down to Norman this evening to hear my old teacher give a recital and visit some old friends. I’m really looking forward to it.

Off to relax…and forget about stress.

Oh - and I’ve lost at least 1 size on the Glycemic Index diet!!! I highly recommend it, the weight falls off and you eat like a horse!

So last night we had a symphony concert of Fledermaus Overture, Saint Saens Cello Concerto and Dvorak 8. Went really well and was fun but I have to work so hard to play in tune here! Is it me? Sometimes I can’t figure things out and then I start doubting myself. I really don’t remember having any problems like this before. Still, the concert went very well, we had a wonderful guest conductor and I hope he gets the job although he is a finalist at UT as well, that would be a better job!

What is it about being out in the middle of nowhere and having people coming into interview for your job that makes you super uneasy!? I don’t know, but I don’t like it. The next two weeks, they are bringing in candidates for my job. In some ways I hope the candidates get offered the job, because I think I am ready to move back to NY state. And I really hope I get a call to interview at SUNY Potsdam. That would be totally incredible because of all things, I miss Wegmans and the open mindedness of New Yorkers!!!! Crazy I know. But its soooo true! This place has its own charm, but maybe in 20 years when I’m ready to settle down, be in bed by 10pm and have no life…right now, I have too much energy to do that!

Seriously, I think if I stayed out here, I would literally die of boredom, or spend too much money flying around the country to big cities to visit all my friends. I would rather start over again next year up in NY then spend another year here. But we’ll see what happens. I like Indianapolis a lot, and if I were to stay here at Ball State, I would move there and commute.

To help get myself out of the hiding out rut, I’m going to fly to Oklahoma for next weekend to spend some time with my family. The schedule for the candidate on the 30th knocks all my teaching out, so why should I hang around!?!?! And I normally have Tuesday off, so that works out fine. I’ll pick everything back up after the last candidate leaves. Ridiculous situations…but I’m tough, I can handle it.

Ok babbling!!! But where else can I vent! See, its 10pm and I’m bored, thinking about sleeping because I’m so bored. I could practice again but that means bugging my neighbors or going down to my office…too much effort. I think I’ll read or watch a movie. I like all this time don’t get me wrong. But its something about this place. Ok, off to find something interesting to do…maybe I’ll finish the sock I’ve been knitting!

Hope everyone has a better week than me!!!

I can’t believe it has been nearly 10 days since I updated. I am back in good old Muncie, and thankfully the weather isn’t too bad, in fact I ran 3 miles (walked 1) outside today!!! Yay! I love Sundays, especially when I have absolutely nothing. I played hookey from Church, I sing in the choir but today was my first real day off so I wanted the whole day, plus it is a holiday weekend. I’ll start back next weekend.

I went down to Indianapolis Friday and Saturday for the All-State Convention, it was fun, I heard some speakers, browsed the exhibits and heard some rehearsals as well as heard my students perform. The venue was really nice, the convention center is attached to a huge Mall so that was the highlight for me. I said goodbye to holiday eating with a lunch of lettuce wraps and mo shoo chicken at P.F. Chang’s. One of my favorite restaurants out here.

Yesterday after my students performed, I went to Borders to spend all of the gift cards I was given for the holidays. Well, I got $95 worth of books and only had to pay $10 out of my own pocket…not bad!!!

The best book was "The G.I. Diet" which I started today! I already feel a difference. It is basically making you watch your sugar intake because when you eat meals high in sugar, your blood sugar surges but then plummets which is why we always feel lothargic and unmotivated! This is more of a re-education which  I did at the store last night after dumping any high sugar food. Yogurt is high in sugar!!! What the hell!?! So I’m reforming my way of thinking, but it is nice, I’m eating more technically, but more fruits and veggies!!! Its not a deprivation diet. Amazing! Anyways - I’ll keep you all posted as to whether it works or not. I think it will and am looking forward to being a size 4 again.

I love long weekends, thankfully this one precedes my day off followed by a really long 4 days of teaching all day and Symphony at night. Speaking of, I am going to go down to my office and practice a while. Ah, holidays, at least we have MLK to help wind us into the new semester. In all my boredom, I started my own website. www.juliannekirk.com (I know, totally unoriginal, but I couldn’t think of anything else and it wasn’t taken yet!)

Hope everyone has a great day off!!!!!

Ah 2006! Amazing that its here. 10 years ago was when I graduated High School! I can’t believe it! My Dad was my high school band/orchestra teacher so he asked me to come out to his classes today and talk about all I have done. It was really fun and the kids asked some really great questions. I enjoyed talking to them about my experiences, and how they can further their careers whether it be in music or something else. I am hoping I inspired at least one kid, if so, then my goal was met.

So for this new year, I have come up with some resolutions as I always do. I have got to stick to them though, I should have no excuse now that all i have to do is work, no more school or studying.

1. Drop 15 pounds (25 would be great, but lets be realistic!)

2. Save save save my $$ for summer - no paycheck since I took my salary over 10 months.

3. Knit some sweaters and try not to negate resolution #2 by spending too much $$ on yarn.

4. Finish all of my knitting projects. Pictures will be posted soon of my latest projects. Mom, Dad and Jim’s scarfs. Plus my socks that are in progress!!! My first pair of knitted socks, they are so fun!

5. Get my research together and ready for article writing.

6. Practice Practice Practice (of course)

7. Exercise EVERY DAY!!

8. Yoga EVERY DAY!!!

9. Eat lots and lots of salad and drink enough water that I don’t have dry skin.

10. Cut out my latte cravings!!! Oh but they are so yummy! One a week is ok.

Those are not too unrealistic! And I’m heading out to go for a nice long walk with my Mom. I’m driving back to Indiana tomorrow - 12 hours in the car…ugh. And back to Indy, where I don’t have much outlet beyond my job. Oh well, that is what having a career is all about I suppose!! I think I’m going to be planning a lot of weekend trips this spring!! Anyone want a house guest???